A different take on seven days in rugby league

EURO VISION: Semi Radradra gets in the groove for a potential move to the south of France and a lucrative contract playing rugby. Picture: Getty Images
Shanghai night field

THURSDAYOne time Knight-for-life-wannabeTariq Sims leaves theCastle for the Gong. The former Knights co-captain has only just got off the Bulli Pass and footage appears of him putting on a Red V jumper and telling fans how good it is to be a Dragon.“It’s been very long time since I pulled on this jersey and it feels great,” he says. “I’m really looking forward to it”. That’ll do me.On the plus side, it should make the coin toss less problematicat the Knights.

FRIDAYThe Maroons camp is in disarray due to a stomach bug. Jacob Lillyman is put in quarantine andAidan Guerra, Matt Scott and Corey Oates also reportedly fallvictim to a dodgy vindaloo.

Dane Gagia is also apparently struggling with a quad strain.Yeah right. Just like Cooper Cronk had a bung ankle. Next they will be trying to have us believethatCameron Smith is too old, Johnathan Thurston is a liability in defence and Greg Inglis is a Queenslander.

The Bunnies host the $lipperies at ANZ. I’m old school when it comes to footy and hate how the modern game has been bastardised. The way I see it,an “edge runner” is what youuse to keep the front lawn tidy and “above the horizontal” is where youend up after a night on the tiles. I can’t believe what I witness in the second half. The Bunnies have a scrum near the quarter-line. The centre feeds the ball underneath the legs of the second-rower for the hooker topick the ball up at lock and passto the prop standing atfive-eighth. Unfortunately for the BunniesCam McGuinness (the hooker playing at lock)knocks on. Then, from the ensuing Eelsscrum, Ken Edwards (the world’s biggestfive eighth) feeds the ball and theleft winger comes across to sendthe right winger over in the corner. Anyone else confused?The try gives the $lipperies an eight-point lead at 20-12.

Any hope of a Bunnies comeback is squashed thanks to a runawaySemi Radradra. The Fijian flyer takes an intercept near his own tryline and motors past seven defenders in a 90 metre dash to the tryline.

SATURDAYThe Storm, already without Cooper Cronk and Cameron Smith, lose Cameron Munster and Blake Green for the battle against the Dragons. I’m surprised they even get out of their own half. It’s hardly a glowing advertisement for rugby league. Filthy that I tipped the Storm, I switch channels to the rugby. The Wobblies are equally uninspiring in what is hardly a glowing advertisement for the game they play in heaven. Referee Craig Joubert adds to the frustration. Deadset, memakes the NRL Bunker look like money well spent. Joubert’s performance is only marginally better than the surface.Monster trucks have left smaller tracksthan the scrums doat AAMI Park.

SUNDAYNew Zealand rugby league fans from Bondi to the Bay of Plentyare torn –Chooks or the Once Weres. For two teams who have treated defence as optional for much of the season, they keep their try-line intact for an hour. Enter Shaun Johnson. TheKiwi magician is on one leg but still proves to tricky for the Chooksas he skips and dances his way across for the match-winner.

MONDAYNews breaks that Semi-trailer forgot to put on the anchors after scoring the match-winner against the Bunniesand kept going all the way to Fiji. Apparently he intends to keep on trucking to Bordeaux and alucrative stint in French rugby. It seems the $250k he is on at the $lipperies –that’s $100kless than the Knights are paying Jack Stockwell to play reggies –doesn’t cut the mustard. Semi’s sistertells the Fiji Times that”Semi had discussed his move with my parents and we are supporting him 100 per cent”. Unfortunately Semi forgets to inform the $lipperies of his plans. There is also the little matter of acontract that binds him to Parramatta until 2017. You got to feel for Eels coach Brad Arthur.

It’s a miracle.Gags gets the green light for Origin IIandthe stomach bug which gave the Maroons theEdgar Britts has been flushed down the toilet.

The Gold Coast Titans host the Sea Eagles for the inaugural DCE Cup. Luke Douglas runs intoa hole to open the home side’saccount. The prop is $151 on the Giddy Goatto be first try-scorer.Incredibly $440 has been plonked on the big fella who hadn’t crossed the stripe since the Titans were the Giants.

The home side lead 16-0 after 24 minutes prompting respected Queensland league writer WayneHemmings to post on twitter what everyone is thinking: “Manly are playing like they have backed the Titans”.

TUESDAYLebron James leads the Cleveland Cavaliers to a historic first NBA title.Sharkies fans hope it is an omen as they chase a first premiership since their inception in 1967. One Sharks fan asks on Twitter: @KingJames can you come to Cronulla and bring us one next?Forget Sonny Bill.Imagine King James playing league. He stands 203cm, weighs 113 kilogram, has silky hands and is pure athlete. He’dmake a hell of a back-rower.

Up north, Queenslanders raise a XXXX toCorey Parker after the Brisbane stock horse announces he will retire at season’s end. Parker made his debut as an 18-year-old and has notched 336 games.”It’s a difficult decision to make because there’s a part of them that still wants to play,” saysBroncs coach Wayne Bennett who recently extended his rule until the end of 2019 and just shy of70thbirthday.”But there is another part of them that doesn’t want their teammates looking sideways at them – or the fans or me.If he goes another year he takes that risk.” Something about the pot calling the kettle black.

WEDNESDAYGame day. Suncorp Stadium is pumping. A dayafter sabotaging the Blues final training session with a highlight’s package on the giant screen of Queensland’s biggest and bestmoments,the Maroons roll out legend after legend in the lead up to kick off.

How do the Blues respond? With a song by the Wigglestitled “NSW Blues Song”. Lord give us strength.